Fat

I think the name of this blog can be startling. I started this blog a while ago and I still have second thoughts about the name. Is it too much? Too inflammatory? Will I regret this choice? Probably sometimes.

But here’s the thing, fat is only offensive if you allow it to be.
I have been overweight my whole life, and only relatively recently in my 22 years have I made it closer to a “normal” weight. I know what it’s like to be the fat girl. I know what it’s like to have your self-esteem teetering over the edge, ready to collapse and become buried under every pound. No matter how much weight I lose, I will always be the fat girl.

And that’s okay.

I’ve struggled, I’ve cried, I’ve endured snide remarks, comments, teasing. I’ve felt the despair of being in the dressing room and nothing works, the crippling anxiety of going out for a night with friends (significantly thinner friends I might add) because I didn’t feel I was worthy to be seen in public. I’ve been through it all.

I survived.

I was fat, I was diagnosed with a disease that is stigmatized as a “fat” disease. But you know what, from this I became strong. I am in tune with my feelings and I understand the feelings of those who have been ignored or criticized by our society.

Yes, I was and still am, a fat girl. A fat girl with a heart big enough for all the other fat girls and guys and everyone with similar experiences. I feel deeply, I love with all I have, and I have the courage to stand up for our spiritual and physical well-being.

I am a fat girl.

And it suits me just fine.

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2 thoughts on “Fat

  1. I also know what it’s like to be the fat girl, you’ve put the feeling into words so well. What I found really funny was that after losing 12 kgs (I’m short, you can really tell), the reactions I got when people found out I was a diabetic were completely different. Pre weight loss, they’d subtly look me up and down and I could nearly hear them think ‘No wonder, fatty boomba’. Post weight loss, they say – “but you’re not fat! Wow! So it wasn’t your fault?’ SO annoying. I try to use it as a time to educate 🙂

    • Yes! I’ve experienced the same thing. I’ve lost close to 30lbs since I was diagnosed and people are generally more surprised nowadays when they find out. Sigh, but you’re right, always good to take advantage of a chance to educate!

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